Despite being nicknamed "Superbob" in some quarters, I can be a total wimp when contemplating major medical events.
Now that April is here, and little more than a week remains before my total knee replacement, I confess that I am growing more nervous by the day. The angst is compounded by surfing the Internet and reading all the stories of those who have preceded me -- practically hour by hour accounts in the hospital, battles to stave off infection, considerable pain, having basically to relearn how to walk, and then even a bout of depression one guy suffered later on.
All this comes from one of my worst habits -- reading stuff on the Internet and thinking "what if?" Of course, there is a ton of good information to be found there, but probably 10 tons of dubious material for every one on the positive side. Still, I will read and read and read. That's just me.
For anyone following this blog about the walking life (which is really the point of going for the bionic knee), I may disappoint you the next week with a dearth of entries about joyous walks. In truth, it is not a lot of fun to walk right now. I can barely make it home. However, going forward, I did find inspiration in The Bible, as follows:
"Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great. Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip."
--- Psalm 18:35-36 King James Version
A paragraph of commentary on that passage in "Moments of Peace in the Presence of God" (Bethany House, 2004) -- a little volume published in Brentwood, Tennessee that my daughter Kristina gave me years ago -- offers this additional helpful perspective:
Boy, do I know well the risk of stumbling. Last summer, because I was unconsciously dragging my left leg due to the unbending, unbendable knee, I fell flat on my face twice within the distance of one block. No telling what my dog thought.
The Good Lord willing, I hope to be back on that trail, stronger than ever, and by the grace of God, no longer stumbling.
© Robert G. Holland 2013
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